This Is My Why

Take a deep breath with me. How are you today? The world has been imbalanced. There has been chaos around us as we struggle with the chaos within us. This break that I took, which was longer than I expected, was a well-deserved and needed break.

Ever since I’ve been on this self-empowerment journey, I noticed that my head has spinning in all directions. I’m back in school, I’m working on my podcast, I’m working on being a certified life coach, I’m trying to build a business, I’m working on maintaining my marriage and my relationships with my family and friends, and I’m working on myself. From the outside, people probably see me being the ultimate life achiever and doing everything and being awesome at it!

I mean, I’m going to allow myself to be proud for all of the things. Because I need to, and I should. I worked really hard and I should thank myself for all the hard work that I have been putting into all these efforts and I am thankful for everyone who has supported me along the way. But it’s been hard. It really takes a toll on my physical and mental well-being, so I took a break.

I allowed myself to be lazy. Which goes against all my parents have ever stood for, and what I ultimately started to adopt as my own. However, because I recognized the unhealthy habits of just working and working with no break, I allowed myself the time, the freedom, and the flexibility to come back to this podcast until I was ready.

Now, I’m ready.

I’m going to spend this episode focusing on something that I think I’ve been trying to do for the past year, and that is on my Why. Why do I do this podcast?

In my very first podcast, I wanted this podcast to be a self-journal. A place where I could be free to express myself and let go of all my internal turmoil without being conscious of whoever may be listening. I did this for myself, and I did this in hopes that maybe someone out there had a similar story.

And it did reach their ears. This was before I even started to mentor anyone. And then I did. I didn’t really understand why at first. It just felt nice to be able to help someone through their struggles and offer advice or to just listen. But the more I did it, the more I felt compelled to. Suddenly, it became a fury inside of me where I just wanted to help everybody! You have an issue!? Let’s solve it!

And it was like that for a while. I just wanted to extend that helping hand to anyone who would be willing to. It wasn’t until I had my first real client who was a stranger. I had mentors who were strangers, but my dynamic with them was a bit different. This client was introduced to me by my life coaching program. They’re offering free services, and members of the program could sign up and offer free coaching sessions. So, I did, and the first and really the only person who reached out to me was this one client. I’m not going to go into detail who she is or what her problem was, because you know, privacy. But what I will tell you that our first session together solidified why I wanted to do what I wanted to do.

She and I are both Asian. We’re both from very strict and traditional backgrounds. We were the youngest of our family. We both felt unheard and stuck often in our lives. If I wrote down who my ideal client was, she was it. We resonated in so many ways that it empowered me to keep going with life coach. Oddly enough, it was at a time where I really started to question myself and my capabilities to be a coach or even a good person, honestly.

At the end of our first session, she thanked me for being so understanding and how much better she felt, and if I could, I wished I could have shown her how much her response meant to me. Because it made me realize that my message may not be for everyone, but for some person out there, it may be all that they needed to keeping moving on.

I had a class recently too by my coaching program, and it was on branding. The homework was to discover our Why’s. And with what I already knew about myself and what I desired, I started adding everything together.

My why isn’t just to help people. It is, but it’s more than that.

I do what I do because I believe that life is in our control. It is how we choose to see it. Just because life isn’t perfect or what we had expected it to be, doesn’t mean that we lose hope. We often dwell on the things we can’t be and forget the things that we are or have potential to be. I used to feel that I wasn’t smart enough, however that was just a false belief. I had just accepted my failures and labeled them as truths. My only one true failure was not believing in myself, and even then, am I still a failure? No. It means that I still have room to grow. Instead of feeling down or frustrated at my failures, I have to tell myself it’s okay, because whatever is going on, it’s trying to teach me something. What can I learn from my failures? Who can I be from this? What is this trying to tell me? I have the answers in me already, I just needed to believe them. And sometimes, I need someone to remind me that I am the person that I want to be. Sometimes, our friends can’t soothe our pain. Sometimes, our parents make it harder. Sometimes, we don’t even know what we’re feeling. That is why, I do what I do. That is why I chose to get certified and learn from experienced coaches. So that I can be with you through your journey into finding balance and self-love. Whether it’s through this podcast or my coaching, I hope to be able to reach out to you and extend some relief that you are not alone, and I do this for you.

With this message, I hope that you can find the courage to start your own self-journey into empowerment. We can do the research and listen to people’s podcast, but sometimes, we don’t know how to use those tools or when to use them. Empowerment is the ability to address your wounds, accept your failures, and learn to control what you can. Through a process of continuous self-healing, you start to build an immune system that becomes stronger and wiser. Before you are strong, you must learn to be weak.

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